China's Got Talent 2011 12yr-old Mongolian boy singing Mother in the Dre...

Another touching performance on a talent show.

Each morning, at least for now, I try and start off the day by watching an inspirational video.

Malaki Paul "9 Year old" "Listen" Uncut [HD] "Britains got talent" BGT ...

Adversity comes in many forms.  Overcoming adversity takes courage.  This nine year old boy on Britain's Got Talent overcomes his stage fright to to give a great performance.

Malaki Paul on Britain's Got Talent

Inspirational person #12: Brandon Pelletier

Brandon is a veteran who became injured during his tour and developed a chip on his shoulder.  He became an angry young man until the person sitting next to hit said something that changed his perception.

Check out:

A Veteran’s Tour From Tragedy to Triumph: Brandon’s Story

Hit a Brick Wall in Recovery

Looking back over the past year, I have recovered tremendously.  I believe I have recovered to the point of what the doctors termed, "normal enough," when they said, I will walk, not "normal," but "normal enough."

Since ditching the cane (although I usually carry it with me, folded in my backpack), I really haven't had any noticeable improvement.  I still cannot run, I still walk slower than I did before this condition happened to me.  My bladder control has not yet returned to an acceptable level.  My bowel control is acceptable, but not ideal.

Intellectually, I knew that as I got better, the pace of the improvement would slow down, but it has slown down considerably.  While I can accept it if I were top stop improving at this point, I would like to still get better.  At this point, I still cannot do a 10K - oh, I can walk it in about 4 hours, but an actual timed setting, not yet.

For the past three weeks or so, I've been feeling frustrated - and inactive be cause I have not much to share, but this past weekend,  I was viewing some videos on Youtube which inspired me and then I started thinking not about how much more I need to improve, but how much I have improved to this point.

My distance walking is back to normal.  I was able to do a five mile walk back in September when I first stopped walking with a cane.  So, here, no improvement is necessary. I am comletely recovered.

I still cannot run, and my "jogging" experience on the sand a few months ago remains the same.  This is frustrating, and I can only hope that I am still improving so I can actually sprint again - and it's just too slow for me to notice on a weekly or monthly basis.  I might up the intensity of exercises though - that might jump start a phase of imprvement.

Related to that - although I walk much faster than I did about 8 months ago, I still walk much slower than before I injured the spinal cord.  But the same speed for about the last two months.  On a good note, I feel a little lighter on my feet now than even a months ago.

Six months ago, whenever I went out for a walk, I'd have to use the restroom after a few blocks, or I'd have an accident, which occured regualrly.  Now, these accidents are few and far between.  My bladder muscles have gotten stronger, and hopefully will continue to do so.

11 months ago, I used to measure bed-wetting by the actual number of times I wet the bed while sleeping.  But then I started wearing an additional layer of protective clothing.  But I would still actually wet the bed about once every five days.  Now, I don't wet the bed - so my criteria for staying dry became not whether the bed was wet, or whether the disposable urine guard I wear needed to be replaced.  And this is still a routine I go through every morning - and nothing has changed over the past few months, but compared to 6 months ago, the timing of my leakage has gotten steady.  When I do leak, it is generally between 3:30 AM and when I wake up for good. Also, for the past month or two, about once a week, now, I don't leak at all (I still wake up about 4 times a night, though).

My bowel movements have been acceptable for the past 11 months, but now is more acceptable than three months ago.  The movements come more regularly, and I strain less when they do come.

So, I hit another period of frustation, but this time it was a little longer and more intense than the past times.  But I think I've got my thinking back straight and will concentrate on continual improvement, rather than lack of the amount.

As I posted recently, but I guess I hadn't taken it to heart when iposted it: "Kaizen," or continuous gradual improvement, shall be my motto.

Inspirational person #11: Meg

Meg was involved in a car accident while vacationing in New Zealand 16 months ago.  She was in a coma for two months. She suffered a brain injury and had to re-learn everything: walking, talking, eating, etc.

She had made remarkable progress over the past year.  Here is a clip from AOL: Brain Injury Patient's Recovery

Kaizen - Japanese term for continuous improvement

I haven't improved much in the last thirty days.  But I have to believe that I am still improving, and if, at the end of the year, I look back to today, i will have found that I have improved, but as far as day to day noticeability, I really haven't noticed any improvement day to day, or even week to week, or bi-weekly for the past month, or for the last month, for that matter.  I try to extend my self more, but I have to believe, now, that i would have been able to do the things last month, that i try for the first time today.

With that, I have come to believe in the term, Kaizen, which is a Japanese term, loosley translated, means, small improvements over time.   The car company Toyota, used that concept to improve the quality of their cars back in the 60's and 70's. 

A mother with MS

I subscribe to an e-newsletter titled, "Chicken Soup for the Soul," and came across an inspiring story about a mother of three (now grown) children who was diagnosed with MS when she was 25 years old.

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Missed a Deadline

Two days ago was the date of the 2013 Long beach marathon, in Long Beach, CA.  I really wanted to be able to do a 5K by this date.  Not only am I not at the point where I can run (not that I'd have to run it, but I'd like to)

I can kind of jog on the sand for a little bit at a time, and kind of run across my living room, and the hallway of my complex, but still am not comfortable running across the street.  The reason is that outdoor surfaces are too uneven.  The sand is uneven too, but it doesn't hurt as much when you fall in the sand.  I'm still not at that point, in the actual running.

I still leak in my sleep, and don't get a restful night's sleep - another problem for an event which starts early in the morning.

Although I  evacuate almost daily now, and sometimes in the early morning, I don't always, and also not always the early morning, or even the morning.  I usually don't go outside until after I evacuate because it can get to the point where i won't be able to control it, and I've also noticed that having an unemptied bowel also causes problems with my bladder control.

Although I have made adjustments to my routines that pretty much let me avoid accidents during my waking hours, I know that these adjustments will need to be continuously modified for me to continue to pursue living life as unobstructive as possible.

Of course, I keep hoping and working towards a complete recovery, and one by one stop using the adjusments I have made, thusfar - like using a cane regularly.

And since I missed this deadline, I will have to make a new deadline.  There are November Turkey Trots, and then there is the New Year, then the Spring races, so there qwill be plenty of opportunities in the near and far future for me to accomplish my goal.

Inspirational Person #10: Jazzmin Peluchette

Jazzmin Peluchette is a teen-ager who is athletic and plays on her high school volleyball team.

In July, she had a sudden onset of pain, and landed in the hospital.  She was blinded and paralzyed and could not breathe on her own.  Eventually, she would be diagnosed with Neuromyelitis Optica Disease, an autoimmune disease that attacks the spinal cord and the optic nerves. 

She has regained some movement and some sight, but is still a long ways away from full recovery.  She has vowed to recover 100%.  Her determination is inspirational.

Here is a link to the local news story: click here for the news story.

Frustation Sets in

It's been a little over 16 months since I came out of the ICU unit, lower half paralyzed, and no control over bowel and bladder functions.

I can now walk sort of normal without a cane, and have some control over my bladder and bowels.

I make adjustments to prevent accidents, but I'd like to get to the point where I don't need to, or that the adjustments don't interfere with my scheduling at all. 

I know I am continually getting better, but it has become a slow process.  Although I don't wet myself in my sleep as much as I used to, the frequency is still too much - and although my bowel movements are much more regular than let's say, three months ago, I still have a tendency to let that control me whether I go outside or not, and for how long.  I still don't schedule anything in advance that would keep me out for more than a couple of hours at a time.

I would like to run again - for more than a few steps, and at a sprinting speed.  Not a slow jog speed. 

Not to be ungrateful.  I am grateful to have recovered as much as I have. I'm determined to recover fully.  But sometimes, the process does get frustrating.

Slow Digestion and bowel movements.

Before I got sick, I had very regular, very smooth bowel movements.  Although my bowel function has come back, and its relatively normal, there are differences - and I don't know whether they will return back to normal - as much as I hope they will.

The following may be uncomfortable (disgusting) to read, but, it is a topic I had lots of trouble trying to find out about when it wasn't working.   The subject matter is one that causes sufferers from speaking out, but I would like to share my experiences with anyone who is trying to figure out when bowel functions might come back, or if they will come back.

Here goes: If the topic makes you squemish, then stop reading.

I am lucky in this area.  My bowel movements have returned alomost to a point of normalcy for me, but I believe it would be considered normal for others.

In the beginning, someone else had to digitally stimulate me because I couldn't reach down and do it myself.  This went on for about 5 months after the spinal cord injury.  A theripist said I will get to the point where I can digitally stim myself, but I didn't have to reach that point.  By the time my abdomen got flexible enough so I could reach down,  my bowel movements came naturally. 

However, the timing and "holding" it in became a problem.  I would not evacuate every day, and when I did, it would be a rush, and the stools were elephant sized.  I suppose I could have taken laxatives and suppositories, but I wanted for my body to evacaute without any aids, except for fiber.  During this recovery process, I have taken in more fiber in the forms of oatmeal and beans.  My fruit and vegetable consumption has also increased.

This went on for about 10 months, and now I evacuate about 5 - 6 days out of the week, and usually in the morning, like before I got sick.  The difference now is that many times I do strain (more than I should), but I am careful not to strain too much, and will give up and go at a later time.   I can hold it in better than before, but sometimes I do feel like the stool will come out on its own when I am not ready for it to.  It's as if my muscles still haven't the strength to push out the stool efficiently.  The size and of the stool has become rabbit-pellet like, and instead of one or two large pieces, about a dozen of these pellet sized stool comes out.  And this is with the contiuation of my increased diet take.

I hope this function will return to my regular habit before I got sick, but in the meantime, I am at a point where I can live with this function as it works right now. 

I feel I am lucky because my bowel movements are natural, and now that a year has passed, regularity seems to be coming back very slowly, but surely.

A New Dream

During this whole episode of my life, my dreams concerning recovery keep evolving.  During my time in the hospital, I would dream that my paralysis was not real, only to wake up and realize that it was real.  Then, last December, I dreamed that I was walking without a limp - and at the time I had, one month previous, started walking with a quad cane - and was feeling frustrated that progress had slowed down.  Now, in my dreams, I am either walking normally, or with a cane (my current situation is that I walk with a limp/gait without a cane).

Last night, I dreamed that a couple of friends from work came to my parents' house, and I walked out to the porch and sat down on a step.  One said, "Wow, you have gotten much better." The other said, "To tell you the truth, I thought you'd never be able to do that again." which was to sit down using my own strength and not topple over.

I replied, "Sometimes, I didn't think I would recover as well as I have."

All three statements reflect how I must feel, on a subconscious level, regarding my recovery.  I am suprised at myself that I have recovered so well, thusfar; at some points, I had my doubts on whether I would ever recover; and acknowledgement of the first two statements.

It will be interesting to see how my dreams change as my recovery progresses.

Inspirational Person #9 - Lyle Anderson - Ironman World Championship

Lyle Anderson was diagnosed with MS almost  six years ago - and this year, he is compting in the World Ironman Championships in Kona, Hawaii.

The ironman competition consists of:

• 2.4 mile swim
• 112 mile bike race
• 26.2 marathon

I found this story on AOL everyday health page.  Click here for the story on him.  If the link doesn't work the first time, refreshing the page will usually get the correct page to dispaly.

Another Walking Milestone

Yesterday, I was able to walk 5 miles round trip without a cane.  The 2.5 miles going away from my home, I took a liesurely walk, and stopped many times.  However, when I reached my desired destination, I looked at the time, and decided to walk back the 2.5 miles without resting.  I was able to walk this distance in 1 hour 15 minutes. As a point of reference, when healthy, I was able to cover the same distance in 45 minutes.

With 18 blocks to go, I must have looked like I had a bit too much alcohol to drink, becuase my gets got kind of weak, and I started wobbling.  With 8 blocks to go, my legs got really weak, and I thought about resting, or pulling out my cane, which I had in my backpack for an emergency - or risk a fall. 

I decided to risk a fall - but luckily, my legs held out and I made it home without falling.

I am quite happy with my leg recovery - if only my bladder and bowel would recover just as much.

I Have an Alter Ego

As well as my recovery has gone for me over the past 15 months, I do get frustrated that I am not 100%, or that I may never reach 100% - although I am confident that I will recover 98 - 99% eventually.

Until that happens though, with hard work and exercise, when I am not active, I need to visualise that I am recovered.  One way is through my writing - the Toe Up to 10K book, which pretty much journals my recovery serves as a "that's were I was, this is where I am,"

The other way is through fiction writing, and I just finished a short story, available exclusively on Amazon Kindle, about a ninja named Kaze no Katsumi, who must save commuters going home from work from zombies who attack their train. Kaze no Katsumi contracted transverse myelitis as a child, and when not in ninja form, walks with a cane.  As the story is in the horror/samurai genre, it is violent, but also humorous and sarcastic.  Please check out Zombie Brawl, or Rants and Raves of a Mass Transit Commuter the Day the Zombies Attacked the Train.

Inspirational person #8 - Rocky Bleier

Rocky Bleier was a football player in the 1970s for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  In 1968, after his rookie year, he served in the army in Vietnam.  He was shot in the thigh, and then a grenade blew up near him.  He was told he would never play football again.

But guess what? After being discharged, and walking in pain, for two years he worked hard , until he made the Steelers roster - and 1n 1976, he rushed for over 1,000.

Practice Walking Without a Cane

Boosted by the news i got at the doctor earlier this week, since yesterday i have been walking outdoors without a cane.

I can feel more muscles working and being taxed, for my lower abdomen tightened up the same way it did when I switched from the quad cane to a regular cane.  Of course that meant I would start having more bladder accidents again when i walk, but that's okay - I know this will get better. 

I think I have two more stages to go before the bladder gets back to near complete recovery.  That is is I can run for a distance longer than my living room, and then it would just be my muscles closing up shop while I sleep.

Again, I think how much improved I am now compared to a year ago when I was in a wheelchair and voided via catheter, and evacuating via digital stimulation.

Strength Almost back

I went to the doctor and after the examination, told me that my strength has almost returned to normal, with weakness just in the toes. 

I still have a slight problem with balance, co-ordination, and continuing issue with my bladder, but all is getting better.

Whenever I experience a symptom

I've written about how I worry when I get a headache nowadays, but it is the same with any other symptom - nausea, trouble urinating, lack of appetite....

I can't remember the hundreds of other times I had experienced the same during my life, but remember the time it happened to me before I landed in the hopsital.

It is a feeling I cannot shake.

A difference a year makes

For the last 3 months, and for the next 3 months, on any day, I can look back and see the difference in my health.  Actually, I could do the same for the next 12 months, but the greatest improvement would have taken place between June 2013, when I was first afflicted with spinal cord injury, and June 2013, when I became fairly comfortable walking with a cane.

Today is September 5, and a year ago, I could stand up for a few seconds in a pool, and today, I can walk a mile, slowly, but surely.

A year ago, I could not evacuate stoll on my own, today, my bowel movements are about 85% normal.

A year ago, I could not urinate naturally, and today, I have the opposite problem, but not nearly as bad.  During waking hours, I'm in control about 80% of the time - I make adjustments to get it that high.  It's at night, that I continue to have issues - but different issues than from a year ago.

I am writing a book on my recovery, and it will probably be a short book - and I hope to have it out by Halloween, of all days, but certainly by Thanksgiving.

Animal Instinct

I was at the store today when a lady brought in her dog.  My legs were tired, so I rested and invited her to go first.  She sat her dog down at the side of the room, and I took the second chair away from the dog.  The dog looked like a lab/golden retriever mix - really beautiful and behaved.  It had the most piercing brown eyes.

The dog kept staring at me, and finally, it got up and placed his neck on my thigh.  I kept nudging his neck and patting him on the head. and scratching the back of his ear.

The lady saw the dog and apologized, but it was a-okay with me.  I found the dog's company comforting.  I told the lady that I thought her dog knew I was recovering from a medical illness.

She said that her sister raises therapy dogs, and although this dog isn't a therapy dog, he has gone into the hospital and visited patients and takes to people right away and has a gentle disposition.

This dog had never seen me before today, and I really felt the comapssion it had for me, a stranger recovering from spinal cord injury.

I don't have a pet, but this epce is a great example that animals can have a positive impact on one's recovery.

Inspirational Person #7: William Easton Riddell

William Easton Riddell was a boy who lived in Scotland over 130 years ago.  In 1882, he was 16 years old and playing soccer, when he hurt his leg.  His parents took him to see doctors, but the leg would not heal.

The parents were told William had cancer.  They did not tell William that until towards the end.

William knew he was terminal, and he did not become bitter, and did his best to keep his loved one's from feeling sorrow regarding his eventual death.

What seems naive, now in the 21st century, and hear it often with warrior culture, such as the samurai, or Spartans is the concept of looking forward to death and dying well.  But this concept is exemplified with William.  His mother wrote an account of these last months of his life.  I'm pretty sure I do not have the same strength as this young man did to face what he faced with the attitude he faced it with.

His story is chronicled in a book, published in 1886, titled, "A Bright Sunset: The Last Days of a Young Scottish Football Player."  I found the book to be touching and a tear-jerker. 

Inspirational Person #6: Devon Melton

Devon is not recovering from spinal cord injury, but his Mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is deciding on a treatment. Devon wanted to do something for her.

I saw this on Huffington Post and am inspired by the selflessness of this young man.

Devon Melton garage sale

To follow up on yesterday's post.  Here is a YouTube video with the focus on children who are afflicted with TM. 

video

Transverse Myelitis Association

I copied and pasted their mission statement below from their website.

I did some more research on this condition, and it appears to be more rare than Guillain-Barre Syndrome.  About 4 in a million get afflicted with this each year.  Also, about 15 - 35 percent of transverse myelitis will eventually be diagnosed with MS.

Here is the link to the Transverse Myelitis Association

Here is there mission statement (copied from website)

To support and advocate for individuals and their families diagnosed with rare neuroimmunologic disorders of the central nervous system

To promote awareness and to empower patients, families, clinicians and scientists through education programs and publications

To advance the scientific understanding of and therapy development for these rare disorders by supporting the training of clinicians-scientists dedicated to these rare diseases and by supporting basic and clinical research

OUR GOAL IS TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF LIFE OF INDIVIDUALS WITH THESE RARE NEUROIMMUNOLOGIC DISORDERS

Dreams are becoming normal

When I was in the hospital, I used to dream that I could run, and then I would wake up and know I couldn't even move my legs.  Other times I would dream that I could run and think that my paralysis was only a dream, the woke up to realize it was real.

Around December, I has a vivid dream that I wasn't walking with a limp.

About a month ago, I would have dreams which I would be walking with a cane, and other dreams which I didn't need a cane.

Now, for the past week or so, when i dream, i do not walk with a cane, and walk like I normally walked before the spinal cord injury. 

I take that as a sign that I will be able to alk 100% the way I did before the injury.

Bed Wetting

Once I got the ability to stand up for  a few seconds, I knew my legs would recover quicker than expected, but at the time, I still urinated through a catheter and still digital stimmed for bowel care.  The bathroom issues worried me more than the walking.  In October, I re-gained the ability to urinate naturally, but started experiencing the opposite problem, which has gradually gotten better, but the problem remains.

I often cannot hold it in when I get the urge, and it takes multiple trips to the bathroom to empty my bladder - just not as many trips now than back then. As for the bowels, I regained the ability back in November, but its pretty much stayed the same.  I used to be very regular, but now I am regular enough, but would like to go more regularly. 

My bladder control during the day is much better, and totally normal as long as i am less than 20 feet away from a bathroom at all times, and probably 80% normal if I am less than 5 minutes away from a bathroom.  It's just at night, during sleep that I have problems.  I really don't wet the bed, I wear two layers of absorbant accessories, one an absobant guard, and another, embarrassingly called diaper pants, but what it is is vynal underwear.

It's rather embarrassing to talk about these things, but it's something that those of us who have nerve damage go through. Hopefully, these functions will recover fully.  In the meantime, there are adjustments that can be made - and thats the best we can do. 

I'd much rather live with the adjustments than what I went through when these functions didn't work at all.

Upper Body Exercises

For this recovery, my exercise regimen has focused on three areas: the upper body, the core (abs), and the legs. 

Strengthening the leags and abdominal areas are pretty obvious to the recovery, but the upper body and arms don't seem as much.

There are two reasons for building up upper body strength during "walk recovery."  The first is that wheelchairs are not easy to roll around in. The chair itself weighs, I don't know, about 10 - 15 pounds for a light-weight folding type, and then you are sitting in it - so it takes some amount of arm strength to roll the chair, and for long periods of time, and control it from going sideways  - not going in reverse when going uphill, and controling the speed when going downhill.  I managed in a wheelchair, but I never really became proficient.

The other reason for building upper body strength is that the stronger the upper body is, it can help out in balancing, and thus, put less pressure on the lower body - so the lower body doesn't have to do all the work.  I believe that the stronger the upper body is, the faster one will be able to re-gain the walking function.

The hospital rehab gym had equipment that strengthened my arms, and my occupational therapist always guided me through the exercises, but at home, I have come to love the kettlebell.  When I was in the wheelchair, I could barely lift a 10 lb kettlebell, and then when I started walking, I could do a 5 repitition set of one exercise, but now - though not as easy as before I fell ill - I can do pre-illness exercises of three different, with 3 ten set repititions of each, for a total of 90 repititions.

As with every other aspect of recovery, strength building takes time, but it all comes together, and one day, soon enough, you will have recovered.

Afraid of Headaches

I can't forget how this whole event started - with the headache that didn't go away. It wasn't even a bad headache at first, just a dull constant one. 

Now, whenever I get a headache, if it doesn't go away after the first four hours upon taking acetomenephin, I remember what it was like in the beginning.  It is not a nice feeling.

I had a headache the other afternoon. By nightime, it still had not subsided.  I took two more tablets and went to bed.  Fortunately, when I woke up, the headache was gone. 

Inspirational Person #6: Paulo Henrique Machado

Paulo Henrique Machado contracted polio as an infant, and has spent almost all of his life in a hospital, and hooked up to a respirator.  But that doesn't stop him from making the most of life. 


Paulo Henrique Machado on Huffington Post video

Nutrition

Once out of the hospital, I tried hard to eat properly. 

I did research on myelin sheaths, and since they are made up largely of fat, I tried to incorporate non-greasy fatty foods into my diet. I normally don't eat eggs, nor avocados, but each morning, I would eat one egg, over easy, or sunny side up, and avocados as much as I could. 

I catheterized to urinate, so I cut out the coffee. I've always been a tea drinker, whether it is green tea or black tea, and continued that practice.

In the hopsital, a friend provided me with alkaline water, which I drank, but alkaline water caused me to "go," so although I drank it at home, I didn't as much as I was in the hospital.  This is mostly because at the hospital, I catheterized every four hours, but after discharge, I tried to stay on a six-hour schedule.

Because of my bowel issues, I tried to take in a lot of fiber early on, and I still do try.  I eat lots of beans, cabbage, other vegetables, fruits, hummus, salsa, and oatmeal (well, the oatmeal is not that often anymore).  I was never much of a junk food eater, but I think I eat more nutritiously now than before I fell ill.

For a while, I took bvitamin B-12 tablets to help with the nerves, but I stopped now.

I think my nutritonal choices have helped me recover more quickly. 

Pool Therapy

I don't know how to swim, but pool therapy was a reason for one of my most joyous moments during my recovery.

My legs and feet became strong enough a few weeks after leaving the hospital to have some sessions in the pool.  I had already done a session with the parallel bars, and the therapist thought I'd benefit from the pool.

By this time, I could stand up for about 2 seconds without support on a hard surface, but the bouancy of the water made it easier for me to stand.

In order to get into the pool, I had to be transferred onto a bench. That was easy enough.  The bench was lifted over the water. The pool was 4 feet deep. But the bench was above the water. And when I looked down, it seemed to be a deep drop.  And not knowing how to swim - even though I knew I would not drown, I was scared out of my wits to jump into the water.

Once in the water, though, was hard work and pure joy.  Joy because of what I was able to accomplish for the first time since falling ill - to stand and even walk without much trouble.  I was able to stand for a long period of time, albeit holding onto the rails, but I was also able to let go of the rails for measurable lengths of times - say more than a few seconds.

What really made me happy was that using a rail that went across the width of the pool, I was able to walk the width of the pool and back.  Then, in a later session, I was able to do this in the 3 feet part of the pool, where the surface was harder.

I had two sessions in the pool at the hospital, and haven't been in one since.  But, these sessions really boosted my confidence.

Inspirational person #5: Katelyn Anderson

Right after I posted about Doug Smith, I found this story, and couldn't wait a week.

Katelyn Anderson has cerebral palsy and when she was two months old, she suffered brain damage to cardiac arrest.  Her mother was told that Katelyn would spend the rest of her life in a vegetative state.

The report said progress was slow, but guess what?  She is walking and talking. 

But she has a new obstacle. She loves chickens, and walks 100 yards each day to be with them and collect their eggs.  The chickens have served as a form of therapy for her and her brother, Lucas, who also has medical conditions.  But the city wants to ban the chickens.  A petition is being passed around which asks the city council to reconsider the ban.


Here is her story on AOL
City wants to ban chickens

Here is the link to the online petition:  If it doesn't load properly, try re-loading the tab.
Petition to reconsider chicken ban

Inspirational Person #4: Doug Smith

It seems, at this stage, most of my inspirational people are athletes.  I don't think athletes have a near monopoly on being inspirational when it comes to spinal cord injury recovery, but I think they are more willing to share their stories of recovery.

That said, here's another one: Doug Smith, who was drafted by and played for (among other teams) my hometown Los Angels Kings, PG (Pre-Gretzky).  Smith played nine years in the NHL, then signed with a team in Austria.  He broke his neck during a game and shattered two vertebrae, which left him at risk for spinal cord injury.  However, it was the surgery that damaged his spinal cord and left him a quadrapeligic. 

It started with a spasm in his big toe - and four months later, he was able to walk.

Today, he is a motivational speaker, and truly has an inspirational story to tell.

Feeling Jay and Carrying a Cane

In George M. Cohan's song, "45 Minutes From Broadway," he writes about it being a "jay atmosphere."  I didn't know the meaning of "jay," until I researched the origin of the term, "jaywalking."  "Jay," means countryside, and "jaywalking" would be how one walks in the countryside - crossing the street in the middle of a road. 

Mostly because I can't, but I don't "rush" anymore when I walk, and I feel that even when after I have no need to use a cane, I will still carry one.  Carrying a cane is a hassle.  Just to carry it is, and then even more of a hassle when I need to set it someplace.  However, many times when I walk with a cane, I do so leisurely, and I don't even attempt to rush.  The effect is that my mind set changes sometimes - I relax, thus, I feel "jay," when I walk with the cane.

I don't know how it'll be when I'm fully recovered, but for now, I'll take time to smell the roses when I go out for my walks.   

Transverse Myelitis

Transverse Myelitis is the second diagnosis I received from the doctors.  This is a neurological condition caused by inflammation of the spinal cord.   Whether my body did this to itself, or if it was a virus, will probably never be answered.

In an earlier post, i questioned whether the Herpes-Zoster (the virus that causes chicken pox and  shingles) flared up in me again because of my extreme skin sensitivity.  As I research this condition, I just found out transverse myelitis does develop following a herpes-zoster infection.  I am now wondering if the menigitis weakened my immune system enough for the herpes-zoster virus to manifest itself and cause the damage to my spinal cord.

TM is also associated with loss of leg movement, loss of blader and bowel control, and  sensitivity to heat, cold or touch - all of which I experienced.  I mean, it was 90 degrees outdoors, and during my "lunch break" between therapy sessions, i'd go outside with a windbreaker, and be comfortable temperature-wise.

The prognosis is actually worse for TM than Guillain-Barre syndrome (GBS) - for only 1/3 of patients recover "good or better," 1/3 recover fairly, and 1/3 show no improvement.  Whereas, with GBS, most people are able to recover "well enough."  The time length for recovery seem to be the same as GBS, that is it will take two years.

Another thing to keep in mind, I was reading that in about 2% of the cases, another "attack" is possible, and among those with multiple attacks, the first time, which could have been years previous, was a first sign of multiple sclerosis.

Inspirational Person #4: Rowdy Gaines

Rowdy gaines is currently a commentator for competitive swimming, but he is a former Olympic swimmer. He has won 3 Olympic Gold medals.  In 1991, he came down with GBS, and spent two months in the hospital.

From what I have read, he fully recovered, not 80%, not 90%, but fully.  And I believe it, for less than 5 years later, he qualified for the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. 

The inspiration here is not that Gaines recovered, for most people with GBS do recover, and its not that he even "fully" recovered - but that he recovered, and I say this because back in the 90's, athletes still lost some of their athleticism after age 30 - and for Gaines to qualify in what was at the time, and still largely is a young man's sport after GBS and at the age of 35 - in a way, he was even more fit than before - that is what is inspirational.

Tracking Progress

Sometimes tracking progress can be measured.  Sometimes, I rely on feelings.  Generally, day to day progress - as I go deeper into recovery is hard to measure.  I just feel lighter on my feet, or my legs just feel stronger -but no measurable change.

Week to week, or month to month, many times I can measure differences in achievements - I can walk farther without having to sit, or walk farther before my bladder starts acting up - or I can walk farther without a cane.

When I can't see the progress week to week as clearly as I would like, sometimes I get frustrated, but the important thing to know is that I'm improving daily, and even though I might not see it day to day, I keep telling myself I will see the improvement if I just check again in a week.

Moral of the story: don't get discouraged because you don't actually see results every day.

Long Beach Memorial Annual WiiHab Championship

Each year, Long Beach Memorial Hospital hosts an event called "WiiHab" in which rehabilitation patients, staff and doctors compete in Wii games to raise money for the rehabilation services.

It is also a fun way for rehabilitation patients to improve rather than the standard exercises we normally do.

I was invited to compete this year, but I declined. 

As a footnote, the team I would have been assigned to won. Maybe I should have participated. But then again, if I did, maybe the team would have lost. 

All in all,it is a great program.

Guillain–Barré syndrome (GBS)

At first, the doctors thought I experienced a secondary reaction to the meingitis called Guillain–Barré syndrome (GBS).   This occurs when the body attacks its own nerves, damaging the myelin sheath, the fatty covering of the nerves. 

Guillain-Barre Syndrome is a rare condition, which affect only about 1 in 100,000 people.  The victim suffers paralysis starting from the feet and works its way up, sometimes leading to respiratory failure.  Most people recover from GBS, but it takes time. I was told it would take about two years, the first year in a wheelchair, then learning to walk after that.   From what I read, movement starts to return between 4 - 6 weeks, after that, chances for a walking recovery start to get slim.

I had not moved after 6 weeks.  One doctor admitted that was bad for my recovery.  Around this time, the tests to confirm GBS was inconclusive, and over the next several months, I endured more tests, and in the end, the doctors don't know what caused my spinal cord injury.  The best guess was that it was a virus. Perhaps even just a common cold virus that worked its way into the wrong place.

Regardless of whether the spinal cord injury came from GBS or from a virus - the resulting condition was the same, the treatment and timeline were pretty much the same. 

It's been about a year, and I walk normal enough. The other issues seem to be improving.  So, I "recovered" in about half the time as far as walking is concerned. 

GBS can occur over a few days, or in a matter of hours.  Either way, it is weird how the nerves can be damaged to the point that one cannot walk in a short period of time, but how long it takes to get repaired.

Dreams

It took about a month and a half after I fell ill to remember my dreams.  I had two recurring dreams.  One was that I dreamed I was in the hospital, paralyzed from the waist down, and unable to walk - then I would wake up and realize that wasn't a dream.  In the other dream, I would be running, and feeling good that I was able to run again; then I would wake up, see the bed rail, and know that I was still in the hospital, unable to walk.

In December, two days before Christmas, i had a dream that one of my friends visited me at my parent's house.  It was time for her to go home, and I offered to walk her to her car.  "That's all right," she said.  "No, I can do it," I replied.  When we reached the car, I said, "See, not even a limp."

Last night, I had two dreams - one in which I walked with a cane, and one in which I ran without a cane, and the dream had no mention that I ever walked with one. 

It seems my dreams have evolved. The early ones represented my denial of my inability to walk.  Then, it was confidence that I would walk again, normally.  Now, it seems that I accept my less than normal walk, but confident that I will be able to run again without any signs that I was once confined to a wheelchair, or needed the aid of a cane to walk.

Frustration

Recovery isn't a straight shot, it's got peaks and valleys and it ebbs and flows.  One of the most important mind-sets I've learned to have is to view progress not always by day, but by weeks, or even months, or even by year.

A year ago last year, I was still in the hospital, using a sliding board to get in and out of a wheelchair, using a catheter to urinate, and being digitally stimmed to defecate (and I couldn't do it myself because I wasn't flexible enough at the time).  Now, albeit very slowly, and with a cane, I can walk a mile, urinate and defecate naturally.

I had videoed myself when I first started to move my feet, and at that point, i could only wiggle my feet, wiggle my knees and slide my leg down the bed.  I happened to videotape my movement exactly a month later, and I was able to lift my feet a few inches off the bed, and pull my knee up, even if it was only for a fraction of a second. 

With all the improvements I've made over the past year, frustration sets in because i have not recovered fully - and I want to be fully recovered, now.  But all I can do is work each day at recovery, and know that I am, even if I can't see the daily improvement.  It's a slow process, but eventually, I know I will fully recover.

Training Update: I jogged a little today

I went to the beach today - and normally, when I do, I walk on the sand to work on my balance.  Today, I tried to jog and met with some success.  More form than actual jogging, but I think in the 13 blocks I covered on the sand, I jogged about 2 of them - on and off, of course.  I could only jog a short distance before I felt I would lose control and fall, and could not move very fast, but it was on the soft sand, after all.

I'm pretty happy with the way my walk went today - perhaps, soon, I will walk further on the sand, and maybe jog further and faster - maybe even have a sprint.

Inspirational Person #3 Manny Rios

Manny Rios is a young man who graduated from high school this year.  But he's an exceptional and inspirational young man. When he was 14 years old, he fell off his bike and suffered Traumatic Brain Injury.  He vowed to walk at his graduation.  And that he did. This year.  I won't go into details, because the youtube video says it all.

He hopes to be more independent now that he is out of high school and his family is hoping to get him a service dog. 

Here is the YouTube video Graduation Walk

And here is the link if you'd like to donate to help his family get him a service dog. 
Youcaring.com - Manny

The Care Cure Community

I was going to post today on another embarrassing subject - digital stimming.  And those of you who go through it know what that is.

Now, that i have something else to write about today, I won't get into that, except that I had to go through that for about 4 months daily before I got some normalcy back, and after five months, it became 80 -90% normal.  But that 10% of the time when I can't control the function is embarrassingly scary.

Anyway, while doing some research, I found a fantastic set of message boards called the Care Cure Communty. It seems like it is maintained by Rutgers University - and its a set of message boards for Spinal Cord Injury. 

Check it out http://sci.rutgers.edu/

When Will I Pee Again?

Sorry for the title, but one of the most frustrating area of recovery has been my bladder.  Not being able to urinate was the actual trigger that caused me to go to the emergency room.  They inserted a Foley catheter, and that remained in me for about a month. 

I thought when it came out, I would be able to urinate naturally.  I wasn't.  So, the nursing staff started cathetrizing me manually 6 times a day, manually.  At least I had the urge, and was told that was a good sign.  Before it was time to cath, I tried all sorts of positions, on the side "sitting up," and nothing helped.  In time, the nursing staff told me I would have to learn to cath myself because I'd have to do it myself once I was discharged from the hospital.

I did learn, and not only did I have to learn to do it in bed, but also while sitting in a wheelchair just in case I would have to go while outside.  But, in truth, I had no intention of leaving the house for any length of time until my bladder problems improved.  Of course, it wouldn't turn out that way, because I had to go to physical therapy as an out patient. Fortunately, I timed my catheterizations well, and did not have to cath while out in public.

While in the hospital, I used a cath kit, which was an all-in-one, and easy to use. However, this was expensive and the insurance company didn't cover it for home use, so I had to use a standard cath tube and re-usable urinal.  I had to learn how to use this before I left the hospital.

I was discharged on August 1, 2012.  By October 1, I was still using the catheter. I would pray to the Saint, usually St. Jude, and ask for the ability to urinate naturally.  I made an appointment to see a urologist.  By the third week of October, I was really frustrated.

Then one day, while I was doing my stretching exercises, I leaked. I went to the bathroom, and I dribbled.  And I dribbled constantly.  About 5 or 6 times within a 5 minute period, then 10 minutes later, another 5 - 6 times, then 10 a ten minute reprieve, before having to go again another 5 or 6 times within a five minute period.  This went on for a couple of months.

Then I started wetting the bed while I slept.  The male guards I would wear wouldn't always absorb all the urine.  I then discovered vynal undewear, which usually kept my outerwear dry.

Slowly, the control has returned, but a sneeze or a cough sometimes will set off an accident, and I still have accidents in my sleep almost nightly, but now it is usually confined to between 3:30 - 5:00 a.m. 

I used to have accidents within walking two blocks, but that has now lengthened to about ten blocks.
If I carried something heavy, that was a automatic trigger for an accident, but I now find myself carrying heavier loads for longer distances.

It's okay if I have to go after ten blocks, sometimes, before I got sick, there were times when I had to go after walking a few blocks - the prblem now, is that I can't hold it in - but that, too, seems to be getting better ever so slowly.

If I had to put a percentage on it, I'd say I'm about 80% better now in this area, but with a 20 % "error rate," I can't say I'm ready to acclimate back into society "normally."  It requires a lot of adjustments, and timing.

It's an embarrassing subject, but this is one of the reasons why I decided to write a book about my recovery - it is really difficult to find information regarding this issue - and I still haven't found any satisfactory information.  My experience is the only reference point I have, so if I can provide some information of the chronology to someone else who is experiencing this, then I'm happy to be able to provide my experience as information.

One Two Three

I am writing a book, a memoir, about this recovery process, and originally, I was going to title it, "One, Two, Three."  This is because  during the entire time of  I was in the hospital, I really could not move much - and had very little strength to push off my leg.

Turning over was something I could not do. In order for me to turn over, I would hold my arms out, and turn my upper body over a little, then "roll back" turn my body over a little more on the second count, then, on the third count, use all the momentum to roll over onto my side - sometimes it worked, sometimes, I couldn't roll over.

And so it was with everything: Transferring onto a wheelchair, into a car seat, things I don't remember doing anymore - everything was based on a count of three.  

Now, I don't have to do that - I can roll over, get into a car, etc.  I can even do planking exercises.  That's progress.

Feels like arthritis to me

A couple of years before baseball player JT Snow retired, he explained how, when he was young, could field ground balls easily, but now that he was getting older, fielding ground balls was tough on his back.  JT Snow happens to be my favorite baseball player of all time - a story I will post tonight in my blog, http://authorstevefujita.blogspot.com/ 

I'm a couple of years older than Snow, and when I was in my mid/late thirties, when Snow made that statement - though I don't play professional sports - I remembered back joking with one of the supervisors at work stating that when you pass 35 years old - sometimes you just wake up with the back hurting.

How does it realte to my spinal cord injury.  When I woke up from my coma, I couldn't make a fist.  Part of the reason was because my fingers were swollen like crazy. I don't know what the other reason was, but the effect was that my joints hurt. And once I was able to make a fist, it hurt to make one.  Until October, it hurt each time I made a fist.  Around October, the pain started to subside, and it only hurt in the morning, and now, it doesn't hurt when I make a fist.

My knees hurt now, kind of the way my knuckles did last Fall.  Six months ago, when I first started walking outdoors for longer than a block, my quad muscles and knees would ache after taking a couple of steps.  This went on for months.  Over the last three weeks or so, the pain has been gradually reducing to the knees and not as intense.

What does the pain feel like? Kind of what I expect arthritis to feel like - the joints hurt whenever I bend them - and the muscles are stiff.  And I can't move my legs very fast - I walk like a stereotypical elderly person with a cane. 

I thnk the key is to move around a lot, and loosen the muscles and joints.  I take at least one daily walk during the weekdays, and 1  - 2 walks on the weekends.  I think stretching out these muscles has helped me improve tremendously.  And how do the knee joints feel now - it feels like my knuckles in October.  I believe in a couple of months, the knees will be as flexible and pain free as my hands.

Getting off the Trach

So, I have this tube sticking out of my throat - which causes me pain each time I move, and my nerves are on fire, which causes my skin to hurt anytime someone comes near me.  I have tubes sticking out from several places., and IV plugs in several places.

Each time something was removed was a step in the right direction.

The tracheostomy caused some complications, but overall, having the procedure done became the turning point in my recovery. 

I was still on the respirator, but each day, the respiratory therapist tested me, and my lungs were getting stronger each day.  I was able to get off the respirator a day earlier than expected. 

About a week after the tracheostomy, a plug was replaced and I was asked to speak.  I was able to do so.  One of trhe first things I said was, "I'm hungry."  After that, I was tested to make sure my body still knew how to swallow correctly - that the food would go down the esophogus to my stomach, and not the windpipe to my lungs.  I passed this test also.

Once I got transferred to the rehabilitation unit, I was told that if I could maintain my breathing while wearing a different cap.  I would be scheduled to have the tracheostomy tube removed.  I would have passed this test, but I started bleeding out of the throat, and removal was delayed.  A week later, I was tested again, and I passed.  By this time, however, I had also been taken off respiratory therapy, and my coughing fits had become rare.

So, several events took place before the tube was removed: 1. I was taken off the repirator, 2. I learned to eat solids, 3. I had to be able to breathe easy with a different cap placed on the tracheostomy tube.

It took a few days for the positive effects to manifest, but it does seem to mark my turnaround in condition.  I spent most of my hospital stay with the tube inserted into my throat - inconvenient an all, but worth having the procedure done.

Inspiring Story, number 2: Rolf Benirschke

I read about his story when I was in high school.  I never forgot about it, but I hadn't remembered too much of the details, except that he had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and suffered some form of IBD.

Recently, I came across a book he had written in 1996.  He was the place-kicker for the San Diego Chargers during the mid-70's to the mid-80's.  He fell gravely ill during a cross-country flight after a game.

To make a long story short, eventually, he would have ostomy surgery and would have to discard body waste through a pouch attached to his body.  And within a year of this operation, was back playing NFL football.

I read this, and I thought, geez, I only had incomplete spinal cord injury, along with a temporary disfunction of urinary and bowel functions, and now at the mal-function stage, but improving little by little each week. I'm probably about 80% recovered for bowel and bladder issues, but that means 20% of the times I still have issues, usually translated into 3 hours of the day where I'm prone to having some sort of bladder or bowel (usually bladder) accident due to lack of control.

I am grateful because I am confident that I am continuing to improve and will improve further, but I'll take the 80% recovery in bladder, bowel and walking over what he experienced. I would hate to have had my colon and/or intestines removed and have to discharge into an external pouch for the rest of my life.

The fact that he had to live through all the pain he did before the operation, then wake up to find out he had to learn to maitain his discharges through a pouch - and then to get back to the point of playing professional football again - it is a very inspiring story.

In the book he makes reference about he feels lucky that he went through this rather than spinal cord injury, but I feel the opposite.  But that is a commentary for another post.

Benirschke's book is called, "Alive and Kicking."

Tracheotomy

When I came out of a coma, among other things, I could not speak, and I was on a respirator to help with my breathing.  I vaguely remember the doctors asking if it okay to perform the operation, and having me "sign" a release.  I remember them saying that the tube would only be in approximately a week.  The tube remained for about 5 to 6 weeks. 

Now that I think about it, it was after the operation that I started coughing.  I think what it was was that the tube they inserted into my throat caused a build up of mucous, which had to be drained every few hours, or in other words, every time I moved.  To drain the mucous, they would put a narrow tube into the trach tube, and suction the mucous out like a vacuum - my job was to cough to get as much mucous out as I could.  But, sometimes, the mucous would really be thick and get stuck.  Often, this routine would be extremely exhausting. 

Another really annoying thing about the tube was that it jutted out from the throat, so whenever someone had to reach around me, like the therapists and nurses when I had to get in and out of bed, or when I was doing a therapy session, invariably, the tube would shift temporarily, or it would get hit.  And that hurt.

And I don't know whether this was good or bad, but I thik it might have been a good thing.  At the end of June/early July, I had developed a blood clot right above the ankle. I was on two different medications of blood thinners.  One day, the therapist who was scheduled to work with me said, "Do you know you are bleeding?"  I answered, "No."  He said, "Yes, there is blood coming out of your throat."  He retrieved a nurse who called some doctors, and pretty soon, I was surrounded by several doctors, and had emergency surgery done on my throat. And I was awake the whole time.  I'm sure they gave me local, but it still hurt while they operated on me.   I think bleeding out of the traech was a good thing because who knows, I might have had severe internal bleeding if this hadn't happened.

This operation did delay the traech tube coming out, which eventually, it did, but they had to test me in steps.

Was I glad I had this operation done?  You bet.  It was after this was done that marks when I started improving pretty rapidly as far as my breathing, energy level, memory, and mental functions. 

More on that two posts from now. Tomrrow's post:  Inspirational Story #2.

My pre-hospitalization symptoms

I was cleaning up my desk today, and I found a torn out sheet of a memo pad in which I had written down the symptoms I was experiencing the week before I went to the emergency room.

Sunday evening - headache
Tuesday forward - Fever, but had dropped by 3 degrees by the time I went to the hospital
                               Fatigue
                               No appetite
                               Constipation
                               Muscle Aches
Tuesday - Saturday - facial pain
                                  nausea
Tuesday and Wednesday - vomiting

I went to urgent care on Thursday and received some antibiotics, but on Friday, I developed:
chills, and the difficulty in urination began.

On Sunday, the day I went to the emergency room, I experienced dizziness, and was unable to urinate. Thank goodness I went, for five days later, i fell into a coma.

U[date on 7-19-13: This is an example of my memory problem - not really detrimental, but annoying - I hadn't realized that I wrote a similar post a couple days ago.  I don't know if I am referring to the same sheet of paper.  But I think I am.

Sue Grafton "C" is For Corpse

I'm currently reading, "C" is for Corpse, by Sue Grafton.  The victim in this book, is also the one who hires the private eye.  He dies almost mid-way through the book (which is no secret because this part is told in the synopsis on the back of the book), but the first part of the book really hit home.

The victim suffered severe injuries as a result of being run off the road.  When we meet him, he has recovered remarkably, but walks with a gait, has memory issues, gets emotional, and is self-conscious.

My issues aren't exactly the same, but Grafton has captured the essence of what it is like for someone who is recovering from physical injury. 

I had meant to read Grafton's "alphabet" mysteries for a long time, but wanted to start with, "A."  I came across "A" through "D" a couple of weeks ago, and finished "A" and "B." She's almost done with the alphabet - if not already, and I intend to read the entire series, but I have a feeling this one will be my favorite.

Dragging Feet

I've always been a foot dragger, but even as I walk "normally" indoors, now, the foot dragging has gotten more pronounced.  Specifically, it's my fourth toe on the right side.  Sometimes it doesn't lift, and when I shuffle forward, it stays behind, doing two things: 1. Makes me off-balance so I work to keep from falling (which I guess can be seen as a positive thing in a way), and 2. With the other toes facing forward, and this one, pinned between my foot and the surface, I end up with a bruised toe and pain for a few days.

This is something that prbably won't correct itself on its own, so while foot dragging didn't really have much of a consequence before I got sick, it does now.  I have to remember to consciously lift my feet up when I walk, enough so that each toe is off the ground, and won't get pinned between the floor and my foot.

Short-term memory loss

One of the consequences of the meningitis regarding mental finctions (in addition to the delerium while the virus was still circulating within me) is the somewhat minor problem I have with short-term memory, now.  Even before I became ill, I could be a scatter-brain at times, and my problems now aren't enough to enough to make an impact on my life, but it can be annoying.

The psychiatrist told me that the short-term memory function should return soon after I return to work - I assume because I would be forced to have to use it.    I have returned to work, and have not yet had a problem remembering things even short term - so that hasn't been a problem, yet.  At least, no one has told me I should have remembered something I should have remembered. Okay, there was one time a couple of weeks ago, but it was only embarrassing - but not detrimental. I reported a problem, then when it was fixed, did not remember reporting that particular problem.

During this recovery phase, more a few months ago when I started to walk outdoors with a cane than now, I tried to time myself. I would look at the time when I started, but when I reached my destination, I would forget what time I had started.   And some things, I can't remember what I did on what days.  But this stuff happens to everybody, certainly me before I fell ill, but it just seems to be a little more pronounced at the moment.

Favorite superhero

This post was originally posted in one of my other blogs, but is really appropriate for this one.

Before I experienced spinal cord injury via meningitis, if you asked me who my favorite superhero is, I'd have answered, Spider-Man, or Batman. In my high school days, it was Green Lantern, with Batman and Spider-Man alternating between second and third favorite.

A year ago today, I was in the hospital (and had been for five-six weeks), and still could not move from the waist down. I was told that it would be about two years before I would walk resembling normalcy, and probably would take about a year to gain enough strength to start using a walker. I couldn't accept that - I set timelines, and goals, and now, though I can't run, yet - I'm confident my legs are strong enough to finish a 5K walk. And the year in the wheelchair was shortened to about four months.

So, who would I say, now? It would be Professor Xavier. He's not just a superhero - but an inspiration - in that he has taught me how powerful a tool the mind is. The mind can create reality - meaning a lot of overcoming obstacles is due to your mindset. Not only that, he started a school for "gifted" children. I know there are a lot of rehab centers out there for people who are recovering from spinal cord injury, but if I had the money, I'd like to start a state of the art rehab and research center.

And the mind's importance for reaching goals? I think it was Henry Ford who said whether you think you can, or think you can't, you are right.

Inspiring Story 1 - Dennis Byrd

When the doctors told me it would be a couple of years before I would walk "normal enough" in about two years, I was really determined to do it within two months - I don't know if my physical therapists felt that I was that determined considering all the trouble I had in the beginning.  But, I really couldn't move below the waist.  Okay, then there was the fraidy cat part of me who doesn't want to fall.

One of the first things that popped into my head, however, was the story of Dennis Byrd.  I might have been watching the game, but if not, I saw it on the highlight reel - but I had remembered the incident all these years.  Byrd was a football player for the New York Jets - he was a defensive tackle, and he broke a vertebrae in a collision with his teammate while rushing the quarterback.

I had thought that he was told that he would never walk again.  So, when I saw the news a year later that he "walked" out into the field, I thought, "Wow." 

So, twenty years later, I am being told it would take two years for me to walk again.  And my mind was if someone who wasn't supposed to walk again started walking, then there would be no reason for me to worry, or feel sorry for myself. But I wanted to do it sooner than two years.  I really wanted to walk afgain within two months.

A couple of weeks later, a friend asked me if there was any book I would like to read. Yes, I said, "the Dennis Bryd Story," but I got the title wrong.  Anyway, on his next visit to the hospital, he brought me the book, and I devoured it - read it in two days. The book is titled, "Rise and Walk - The tRial and Triumph of Dennis Byrd."

I did find out from reading the book, Byrd had an "incomplete" injury, which means that the spinal cord was not completely destroyed.  So, physically, it was possible for him to walk again, but just because something is possible, doesn't mean it's probable.  That's where the inspiration comes in.  Bryd very easily could still be in a wheelchair now, but his determination, and the support he received around him enabled him to accomplish his goal of walking again. 

Apparently, his story was made into a tv movie, which I never saw, but would hope to see someday.  As for the book,  I highly reccommend it - especially anyone who is recovering from spinal cord injury.

Delirious

On of the symptoms of meningitis is mental confusion, which I didn't experience until a couple days into my hospital stay.  I actually don't remember much of my first two weeks in the hospital. I remember being admitted.  I remember calling my friend, Roberto, and asking him to let my job know.  I kind of remember talking to my parents.  And that's it until I woke up from a coma.

Apparently, before I fell into a coma, I was talking nonsense - and then not at all.  I don't remember any of it, and the only reason I know is that people tell me what had happened.  My parents were told that if I do wake up, I might not recognize them, and be severely brain damaged to boot.  But when I did wake up, my cognition was pretty much in tact.  I do have some problems with memory now, but that's pretty minor.

I guess subconsciously, I knew what state I was in, because I don't remember being surprised at my condition when I woke up.  My hands and fingers were swollen; I couldn't flex my fingers, I couldn't hold a pencil stable enough to write, I couldn't talk, I couldn't move my feet, I was on a respirator, and I had all sorts of tubes coming out of my neck and arms.  And I wasn't surprised.  I didn't know how bad a shape I was in, except for the fact that I was in excruitiating pain from the skin sensitivity.

I spent a week in the ICU unit, but I remember, probably, about 15 minutes of specifics.  And ten minutes of that is watching portions of two of the NBA Finals games. 

Skin Pain

There were many things I experienced that was difficult to find information on.  One was extreme skin sensitivity.  I had shingles about ten years ago, and if you have had them, then you can relate.  My skin was extremely sensitive to touch.  Just anyone coming near me was excruciating because although people don't know it, a breeze is made.  Anybody who has had shingles knows that just to wave a hand in front of the affected area causes excruciating pain. I couldn't speak at the time, so I really couldn't communicate the pain I was experiencing.  When I had shingles, I suffered through it without any prescription pain medication.  But this experience, I really wanted some strong stuff, but either it wasn't approved, or I couldn't communicate it strongly enough - I don't remember.  Sometimes, the nurses would rub lotion into my skin, which would hurt when they applied it, but it soothed the skin for a little while after that.

The one annoying thing, as little as I remember during my stay in ICU, and in Critical Care, was the commercial for shingles vaccine.  The spokespeople in the commercials related how much shingles hurt.  Everytime I saw the commercial, I thought, yeah, but I had shingles, and the skin sensitivity I feel now is 100 times worse.

I don't know if this is a common symptom of meningitis.  I didn't come across this.   It was a viral infection I experienced.  Most likely a common cold virus, but could my meningitis have been caused by Herpes Zoster - the same virus that causes shingles and chicken pox?  It would make sense, to me, as a layperson, that it would go on and wreck havoc throughout my nervous system and spinal cord.

The extreme pain lasted for about two to three weeks.  It went away during the month I spent in the rehabilitation unit.

Symptoms of meningitis

I must have considered I had meningitis before I went to the hopsital, although I don't remember thinking such.  This is because I found a piece of paper in front of my computer with a note stating meningitis symptoms.  On Sunday night and Monday, I just had a dull headache.  On Tuesday, the headache started throbbing, and I had a fever.  It was June, and I bundled myself up on the couch and watched tv.  On Wednesday, the fever was still there, but I also felt nauseas and vomited  aacouple of times in the evening.  On Thursday, I was tired and weak, but had not vomited - I decided to go to urgent care in the late afternoon. 

The doctor prescribed some antibiotics for it could have been a sinus infenction, but told me to got the emergency room if I felt the antibiotics were not working.  The fever lowered, but would not completely go away.  By Saturday, I had trouble urinating.  On Sunday, I could not urinate at all. Early Sunday afternoon, I went to the emergency room.

A spinal tap was done on me, and then a Foley catheter was inserted so I could urinate.  I was told I had viral meningtis.  Here is the funny thing. I don't remember researching meningitis before I went to the hospital, but i do rememeber not being too worried about it after I was told having the viral form because i knew it wasn't as severe as other forms of meningitis.  I figured I'd be in the hopsital for a couple of days while the virus passed through my system, and I'd go home, and be back to work within a couple of week.

Boy, was I wrong.

Update - Recovery milestone

Last weekend, I went to the beach and walked on the sand without a cane - for about the equivelent of 14 blocks.  The sand is soft uneven, and one of my physical therapists thought it would be a great idea to walk on the sand to improve my balance.  Walking on sand is more difficult than walking on pavement - but it is easier on the joints.  Upon going the 14 blocks, I walked up three flights of stairs (holding the hand rails, of course), and walked home, about 20 blocks away. 

I think I did at least 4 kilometers., which would be almost half of my goal (and reason for the second half of the title).  I don't know if I wil be able to do a 10K before the end of the year, but I'm now almost certain that i wil complete a 5K walk/run before the end of the year. 

Toe Up

After six weeks, I still hadn't had any movement below my waist.  I used to stare at my toes and tried to will them to move. I prayed.  According to the literature, I was supposed to start getting movement back within six weeks.   Before this particular week, I hoped my legs would start to move, but wasn't too concerned because I thought I would be moving by the end of the time frame I had read about in a book about spinal cord injury I was reading. 

But at the end of week six, I got nervous. Each night, after my parents had gone home, and I had eaten dinner, and had some alone time before the nurses made their rounds, I straed at my feet and prayed.  I didn't make any promises to God, but I prayed.  Then, on a Friday, after a couple of friends from work had gone home, and I was alone, praying, and I remember saying, "Please, God, give me some sort of a sign."  At that moment, my right big toe flipped up, and then down.  Physically, it was probably a muscle spasm, but I took it as a sign.  I stared at my toe for the rest of the night.  The toe didn't move again, but I knew it did. It was not my imagination.

The next day, Saturday, whenever I was idle, I stared at my feet. I straed and prayed all day, but no movement.

On Sunday, the same friends who visited me on Friday, visited me.  I told them about the toe.  I tried to get it tomove, but to no avail.  After they had left, my leg, from the knee on down, spasmed. It straightened out.  I couldn't bend it back up, so I pulled my leg up and then willed it to slide down.  I did not want to go to sleep, for fear that when I woke up, I would not be able to move it again.  But I knew I had to go to sleep.  But before then, I took my phone and videotaped the movement in my leg.

The headache that would not go away

It started on a Sunday night, when I developed a headache.  It was a dull headache, and I took a couple of pain relievers when I went to bed.  On Monay, the headache was still there, but I went to work.  At work, I took a couple of tablets of aspirin every four to six hours, but the pain would not go away.  And so it continued into the next day. My mid-morning on Tuesday, the head started to throb and I went home early, stopping by the supermarket to get some of my "cold-killing" remedies.  I started to run a fever, and the headache would not go away.  I strated to think I had the flu, but it didn't make sense.  In previous times I've had the flu, it's hit me like a brick wall. In this case, my headache had gotten worse gradually over a two day period, and it was about to get worse.