Monday, July 29, 2013

Frustration

Recovery isn't a straight shot, it's got peaks and valleys and it ebbs and flows.  One of the most important mind-sets I've learned to have is to view progress not always by day, but by weeks, or even months, or even by year.

A year ago last year, I was still in the hospital, using a sliding board to get in and out of a wheelchair, using a catheter to urinate, and being digitally stimmed to defecate (and I couldn't do it myself because I wasn't flexible enough at the time).  Now, albeit very slowly, and with a cane, I can walk a mile, urinate and defecate naturally.

I had videoed myself when I first started to move my feet, and at that point, i could only wiggle my feet, wiggle my knees and slide my leg down the bed.  I happened to videotape my movement exactly a month later, and I was able to lift my feet a few inches off the bed, and pull my knee up, even if it was only for a fraction of a second. 

With all the improvements I've made over the past year, frustration sets in because i have not recovered fully - and I want to be fully recovered, now.  But all I can do is work each day at recovery, and know that I am, even if I can't see the daily improvement.  It's a slow process, but eventually, I know I will fully recover.

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