A New Dream

During this whole episode of my life, my dreams concerning recovery keep evolving.  During my time in the hospital, I would dream that my paralysis was not real, only to wake up and realize that it was real.  Then, last December, I dreamed that I was walking without a limp - and at the time I had, one month previous, started walking with a quad cane - and was feeling frustrated that progress had slowed down.  Now, in my dreams, I am either walking normally, or with a cane (my current situation is that I walk with a limp/gait without a cane).

Last night, I dreamed that a couple of friends from work came to my parents' house, and I walked out to the porch and sat down on a step.  One said, "Wow, you have gotten much better." The other said, "To tell you the truth, I thought you'd never be able to do that again." which was to sit down using my own strength and not topple over.

I replied, "Sometimes, I didn't think I would recover as well as I have."

All three statements reflect how I must feel, on a subconscious level, regarding my recovery.  I am suprised at myself that I have recovered so well, thusfar; at some points, I had my doubts on whether I would ever recover; and acknowledgement of the first two statements.

It will be interesting to see how my dreams change as my recovery progresses.

Dreams are becoming normal

When I was in the hospital, I used to dream that I could run, and then I would wake up and know I couldn't even move my legs.  Other times I would dream that I could run and think that my paralysis was only a dream, the woke up to realize it was real.

Around December, I has a vivid dream that I wasn't walking with a limp.

About a month ago, I would have dreams which I would be walking with a cane, and other dreams which I didn't need a cane.

Now, for the past week or so, when i dream, i do not walk with a cane, and walk like I normally walked before the spinal cord injury. 

I take that as a sign that I will be able to alk 100% the way I did before the injury.

Dreams

It took about a month and a half after I fell ill to remember my dreams.  I had two recurring dreams.  One was that I dreamed I was in the hospital, paralyzed from the waist down, and unable to walk - then I would wake up and realize that wasn't a dream.  In the other dream, I would be running, and feeling good that I was able to run again; then I would wake up, see the bed rail, and know that I was still in the hospital, unable to walk.

In December, two days before Christmas, i had a dream that one of my friends visited me at my parent's house.  It was time for her to go home, and I offered to walk her to her car.  "That's all right," she said.  "No, I can do it," I replied.  When we reached the car, I said, "See, not even a limp."

Last night, I had two dreams - one in which I walked with a cane, and one in which I ran without a cane, and the dream had no mention that I ever walked with one. 

It seems my dreams have evolved. The early ones represented my denial of my inability to walk.  Then, it was confidence that I would walk again, normally.  Now, it seems that I accept my less than normal walk, but confident that I will be able to run again without any signs that I was once confined to a wheelchair, or needed the aid of a cane to walk.