I Would Be Lying if I Said I Don't Experience any Bitterness

Sort of a continuation of yesterday's post.

I try and be positive; I do what I can to help me recover back to 100%.

But I can't be perfect in what I do, or how I feel.  As grateful as I am for the amount I have recovered, I wish my body and health were back to were it was pre-illness.  Except to say that I weigh about 15 pounds less, now, and my metabolism seems to have sped up a bit, as I sweat much more easily now than before. Other than that, I wish I was as healthy as before I got sick.

Thus, I do, at times, feel bitter about what happened to me two years ago, and how much time my recovery efforts has consumed, and that more work needs to be done.

If I don't feel any bitterness, I wouldn't be human.  If I don't allow myself to experience the bitterness, then it has a chance to consume me and negate all the positive recovery I'm made up to this point.  So, what to do?  Occasionally, sometimes more than other times, I allow myself moments of bitterness.  But the overall focus is on the gratitude I feel regarding my recovery and optimism about a total recovery for myself, and the motivation to reach a level of 100% recovery.